Metaphorical Gardening
by cyanide dragon
Summary: Oneshot Lee wants to find his flower of youth. Quite literally.


Metaphorical Gardening

Disclaimer: The Naruto, it is not mine. Sadness, it is.

"Lee, the 'flower of youth' is a metaphor! You don't really have a flower that represents your youth!"

"That's because I can't find my flower of youth, Tenten! It is out there, somewhere, I know it!"

Neji had been watching this debate for a good twenty minutes now. Apparently, Lee had decided that his 'flower of youth' was missing, or he needed to find a flower that represented his youth. Neji wasn't really paying attention. But it was funny watching Tenten try to explain that there really wasn't a specific 'flower' out there. It was like teaching a log how to do math. Impossible, but fun to watch. For the audience, anyway.

So Neji watched. And smirked.

Just when the arguement was reaching its pinnacle, a cloud of smoke interrupted. A cloud of smoke that quickly dissipated to reveal Gai-sensei, flashy teeth and all.

"Ah, my wonderful students full of the flames of youth! How are we today?" he exclaimed, flashing a thumbs-up, but immediately halted when he saw that a)no one was listening b)Lee was almost in tears and c)Tenten had a large shuriken out.

"Gai-sensei!" sniffed Lee, "is it true that the flower of youth is only...only..a m-metaphor?" "Nonsense! Every youth has a flower for him! All he must do is find it and grasp it in his hand!" Gai said vigorously, performing pose number 14, which looked something like the love child of sailormoon and power ranger poses. The sane ones, Neji and Tenten, winced. Lee's eyes sparkled with joy at his mentor's assertion.

"S-so there really is a flower that symbolizes my youth, sensei?" stuttered Lee, now composed and filled with his sensei's psychotic fervor. "Of course! And it is high time you found it! Neji! Tenten!" called their green-clad sensei, snapping the two aforementioned students to attention, "I have a mission for the three of you! Find Lee's flower of youth!" As he was about to continue, Neji suddenly bent down and snapped back up with a common dandelion between his right hand's index finger and thumb.

"Found it."

"Neji...that is a dandelion" Gai-sensei said, not sure whether to be thrilled or disappointed.

"Yeah. This can be Lee's flower of youth. We're done" the Hyuuga said precisely. He shoved the dandelion into Lee's hands and prepared to walk away.

"But Neji...how does this symbolize my youth?" Lee asked, turning the dandelion back and forth in his palm.

"Well..." Neji began, "It...symbolizes the..."

Neji had to walk back. And Team Gai began crawling thorugh the grass, picking flowers and muttering.

"Umm, would Lee's flower of youth look like a daisy? You know, 'cause it's bright and cheerful and all." Tenten inquired to Neji, who was in the process of mutilating a piece of grass. He replied coldly, "Why don't you ask him?"

"Neji! At least pretend like you care! The more you mope, the more time we'll waste on picking a metaphor for Lee rather than actually training!" she hollered. Suddenly, she noticed that Gai-sensei was motioning with his hand and eyebrows (how, she'd never know. The eyebrows, she meant) to come over where he and Lee were.

"Ah, Tenten," Gai whispered conspiratorially once she had come over, "it seems that Neji is having...difficulty rising to the task." The three watched their black-haired teammate stabbing viciously at a patch of clover with a kunai. "Yes, he is, sensei," Tenten replied quietly, "but it's only a flower! I don't understand why he can't just suck his ego up for once and find a damn flower!" she sighed, "Maybe we should find Neji's flower of youth. He needs one more than Lee." She suddenly realized that her sensei and his carbon copy, Lee, were shifting around uncomfortably. "What? What's wrong with finding Neji's flower of youth?" she inquired.

"Tenten," Gai-sensei said carefully, "Neji is more of the...weedkiller of youth than a flower of youth."

"Does that mean he destorys bad youths, sensei?" Lee asked.

"No...he just destroys youth, Lee" explained Tenten.

Deafening silence. Except for the sounds of ripping leaves, courtesy of Neji.

"Hey, Lee?" Tenten suddenly asked, "when's your birthday?"

"Why?"

"Aren't there birth flowers? I mean, if there are birth stones and trees and whatnot, there's gotta be--"

"That's brilliant, Tenten! Thank you! My time of birth should have already ordained me with a flower! THAT is my flower of youth!" Rock Lee shouted, hugging his teammate until she lost feeling in her arms. She was released when Gai-sensei noticed that she was turning a funny shade of blue.

"Come, Lee! When is the blessed date of your birth?" Gai boomed as Tenten tried to reinflate her lungs with oxygen.

"November 27th!"

Tenten calculated, trying to recall kunoichi flower knowledge she had learned ages ago. "I think that's Chrysanthemum, which represents cheerfulness and friendship." She made a mental note to check that with Ino.

"I found it! I found it, sensei!" cried Lee joyfully. The two jump-suited ones hugged each other in manly joy. "But we must help Neji who is bereft of youth! What is his flower, Tenten?"

"Well, he has a July birthday, so his birth flower should be should be Larkspur."

"What does it represent? Destiny? Neji-ness?" questioned Lee.

"Umm...youthful joy and laughter." she replied.

All paused. The three watched Neji as he threw shuriken at water liles. If water lilies were youth, the youth were dying. Horribly.

"You know, Lee, Tenten" Gai said after a while, "perhaps the flower of youth is really just a metaphor. Just a symbol. Not really definitive. No, not at all."

As they all watched Neji, they had to agree.

End.

(A/N): I actually did check up both birthdays and birth flowers. Be afraid. And, ahem, review! 


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